Navy Section
Naval Aviator Look-Alike Kit
Hair gel. Aviator shades. Comb. Signature not included.
The Naval Aviator Look-Alike Kit contains everything required to present the aesthetic of a naval aviator without the associated flight training, carrier quals, or squadron assignment. Contents include one tube of high-hold hair gel (non-issued, commercially sourced), one pair of aviator-style sunglasses (generic frame, UV400, no brand affiliation), one black pocket comb, and one laminated briefing card titled STANDING WITH ONE HAND ON HIP: A POSING GUIDE. The lamination is glossy.
The kit was inspired by documented research into public perception of naval aviation, primarily sourced from a certain 1986 film that substantially increased naval aviator recruitment applications and popularized a specific posture — weight distributed evenly, one hand on hip, sunglasses worn indoors — that remains in active use at naval air stations to this day. We have codified this posture in the laminated guide. There are seven approved variants. Variant four is for press engagements.
The Air Force produces actual pilots in substantial numbers but has demonstrated a consistent reluctance to do press. We acknowledge this as their prerogative. The naval aviation community, by contrast, has understood the value of visible posturing since 1986, and this kit supports that institutional legacy at a price point of $59.99.
“The Air Force produces actual pilots in meaningful numbers but has shown a consistent and puzzling reluctance to do press about it, which we find to be a missed opportunity.”
— SQUARED AWAY EDITORIAL BOARD
| Hair Gel | High-hold, non-greasy, wind-resistant (carrier deck rated) |
| Sunglasses | Aviator frame, UV400, generic — no brand affiliation |
| Comb | Black, pocket-size, military tuck-compatible |
| Posing Guide | Laminated, 7 approved variants, Variant 4: Press |
| Inspiration | A certain 1986 naval aviator film (declassified) |
| Certifications | MIL-STD-MAVERICK compliant. No actual flight quals required. |
- This kit does not confer flight status, carrier qualification, or call sign eligibility. Personnel who adopt the aesthetic without the credentials do so at their own reputational risk.*
- *The laminated posing guide is for informational purposes only. Variant 4 (Press) should not be deployed unless a camera is present. Deploying Variant 4 without a camera is a waste of Variant 4.
After-Action Reports
The posing guide is laminated and I have reviewed it thoroughly. Variant four is powerful. I used it at a change of command and three people asked if I was a naval aviator. I am a supply officer. The kit works.
My CPO confiscated the sunglasses the first day and said they were 'a lot.' He was wearing them by the end of the week. I am giving this four stars because I never got them back.
I will not comment on the film reference. I will say that the hair gel holds in high winds and the comb is serviceable. Posting this anonymously under my real name and rank because transparency is a naval value.
