Component: LAND
Army
This We'll Defend. For a Price.
Welcome to the Army section. You walk a lot. You carry a lot. You PowerPoint a lot. We have items for each of these core duties, priced to reflect the labor you already knew was underpaid. The Army does the work. You have this.
NSN 8465-69-420-MRE
The Grunt's Embrace™ Tactical Pillow
Concrete-filled MOLLE. Ready to ruck.
$84.99
NSN 8970-ARM-MRE-04
MRE Pairing Flight: The Fort Polk Collection
Four MREs paired with regret.
$119.99
NSN 8415-UCP-FAIL
UCP Classic™ Commemorative Invisibility Cloak
The camouflage that camouflaged nothing.
$249.99
NSN 6515-SMJ-STACHE
Regulation Sergeant Major Mustache Kit
Wax, comb, and one framed citation.
$64.99
NSN 8305-MUD-POLK
Artisanal Field Mud™ (1 gal.)
Sourced from Fort Polk. Certified miserable.
$39.99
NSN 8940-HOOAH-01
The Hooah Bar™
Tastes like motivation and abandonment.
$89.00
NSN 5530-RUCK-BRK
Rucking Enrichment Stones™ (set of 6)
Decorative bricks for emotional weight.
$149.99
NSN 7690-PPT-SUB
PowerPoint of the Month Club™
400+ safety slides, delivered monthly.
$29.99 / month