Air Force Section
On-Base Golf Course Keychain
Access to all 17 courses on base.
The On-Base Golf Course Keychain is a gold-toned zinc alloy golf-bag charm on a 1.5-inch leather fob, heat-stamped in gold ink with the words 'ON-BASE GOLF · 17 COURSES.' It is $24.99. It is the most honest product we have ever made. Air Force bases have golf courses. This has been true for decades. The number of courses is not an exaggeration — some installations have had more than one. The keychain does not create this reality. It simply acknowledges it.
The keychain is presented as membership documentation. It is not membership documentation. It is a keychain. However, the membership it claims to grant is to courses that actually exist, staffed by pros and maintained by groundskeepers and attended by personnel who have found the time, and we feel this deserves a physical token that can be attached to car keys and rattled when someone asks what that little gold golf bag is. 'It's my access pass to the on-base courses,' you will say. 'How many courses?' they will ask. 'Seventeen,' you will say. This is true. This conversation will happen.
The Marine Corps rifle range is also called a 'course,' in the sense that it is a measured outdoor area where performance is assessed. The Marine Corps does not have a leather fob for it. We do not have the standing to comment on this situation except to say that we support all forms of outdoor recreation and have priced this keychain accordingly.
“The Marine Corps rifle range is technically a course too — we just appreciate that Air Force courses have scorecards and a beverage cart.”
— SQUARED AWAY EDITORIAL BOARD
| Material | Gold-toned zinc alloy golf-bag charm, split-ring attached |
| Dimensions | Golf bag charm: 1.1 in H × 0.6 in W; leather fob: 1.5 in |
| Weight | 0.8 oz |
| Course Access | Fictional membership to all 17 on-base AF golf courses (claims non-binding) |
| Transferable | Yes. The keychain transfers. The courses remain stationary. |
| Certifications | MIL-STD-BIRDIE compliant. Handicap not included. |
- Course access claims are non-binding. This is a keychain. Actual tee time reservations require standard base recreation booking procedures.
- Golf instruction is not included. Golf instruction requires a golf instructor. The keychain is not a golf instructor.
After-Action Reports
I have played 9 of the 17 courses. I carry this keychain. When people ask what it is I explain the whole thing. Nobody has ever been surprised that we have 17 courses. That tells you everything.
Someone at dinner asked why the Air Force has 17 golf courses. I said 'because we can.' They did not have a follow-up. The keychain is good. The leather is real.
My Army buddy picked this up off my desk and read the fob. He stared at it for a long time. He did not laugh. He set it back down. He didn't say anything the rest of the night. Five stars.
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