Navy Section
Shellback Certification Coaster Set
I crossed the equator once and won't shut up.
The Shellback Certification Coaster Set commemorates the ancient and solemn tradition of crossing the equator aboard a naval vessel and becoming, thereby, a Shellback — a status that is taken seriously by every Shellback and dismissed as theater by every Polliwog who has not yet made the crossing. The set contains four coasters, each bearing a different motif from the crossing ceremony: the Neptune trident, the crossing scroll, the sea turtle, and the First Crossing insignia. Together they form a complete account of an event you are allowed to mention at every dinner for the rest of your natural life.
The coasters are made from cork-backed hardwood, finished in matte black with gold foil detail, and sized for standard beverage glasses. Two of the four motifs are considered Polliwog-safe for civilian guests. The trident and the scroll carry context that will require explanation, and the set fully expects you to provide it.
The Army has not crossed the equator in uniform. This is a documented fact that the Army has made no statement about, and we respect their silence on the matter.
“The Army has never crossed the equator in uniform, which is fine, and they have developed other traditions to compensate, which are also fine.”
— SQUARED AWAY EDITORIAL BOARD
| Quantity | 4 coasters |
| Material | Cork-backed hardwood, matte black finish, gold foil |
| Diameter | 4 in each |
| Motifs | Trident, Crossing Scroll, Sea Turtle, First Crossing |
| Polliwog Certified | 2 of 4 coasters (Turtle and First Crossing) |
| Shellback Certified | All 4. The set is complete. You earned it. |
- Only two of the four coasters are polliwog-safe for guests who have not crossed the equator. The other two will raise questions and the host is responsible for the resulting conversation.
- The set will bring up your Shellback status at dinner. This is a design feature, not a defect.
After-Action Reports
Put these on the coffee table. Within seven minutes of my in-laws arriving I had explained Shellback certification, the line-crossing ceremony, and why King Neptune is not a metaphor. The coasters are working exactly as intended.
My husband is a Polliwog. He is not allowed to use the trident coaster. He knows why. He has accepted it. This set has introduced a healthy dynamic into our household.
The coasters are fine. I crossed the equator in 2004. I did not need coasters to remember it. I bought these anyway because the set looked right. I am using them. I stand by two stars.
