Army Section
The Grunt's Embrace™ Tactical Pillow
Concrete-filled MOLLE. Ready to ruck.
Finally, a pillow that respects your profession. The Grunt's Embrace™ is constructed from reinforced MOLLE webbing, filled with genuine poured concrete, and wrapped in the Universal Camouflage Pattern that famously failed to camouflage anything between 2005 and 2019. At 11.2 pounds, it is heavy enough to qualify as Class IV field equipment and uncomfortable enough to feel earned.
Each unit is poured by hand at a demolished NCO club in Fort Hood, Texas, then cured for 28 days under a tarp. Our morale engineers have verified that nobody who has ever used this pillow has slept well. This is considered a feature.
Ideal for the 11B who wants to take their profession home with them, the reservist who refuses to leave the Army behind, and the O-4 whose spouse has asked them to get a hobby.
“The Air Force already has memory foam with a thread count. You have this.”
— SQUARED AWAY EDITORIAL BOARD
| Weight | 11.2 lbs |
| Dimensions | 18 × 14 × 4 in |
| Fill Material | Poured concrete |
| Shell | 500D Cordura MOLLE webbing |
| Pattern | UCP (Class of 2005) |
| Care Instructions | Do not wash. Do not sleep on. Ruck only. |
- Not authorized for Air Force use. May cause posture injury to Chair Force personnel.
- Concrete source (Fort Hood NCO club) cannot be certified as morale-compliant.
After-Action Reports
Finally a pillow that understands me. I have not slept since 2007 and this has not changed that, but now I can't blame the pillow.
My platoon sergeant made me add it to my ruck for a 12-miler. It is still in my ruck. I am afraid of it.
Issued one to every soldier in my company. Morale down 14%. Rucks up 14%. Net zero. Army math.
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